boulevardtrsh

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 05:55:04 GMT

I feel like it may be time to take a break from life again.

A month or two to myself should do the trick.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 06:47:37 GMT

when it comes to flip cup, I rule!

I'm keeping my chin up

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 20:07:17 GMT

As much as 2008 sucks, some good has come from all of this sucking.

On new years day I got a ticket... as cheap ticket but a ticket none the less.
On the second my car broke down.
On the third I was unable to register for classes due to Kell sucking and not sending my transcript like they promised.
Also on the third more so the fourth because it was at like 2:30 I came close to being molested at mjq thank god Dani saved my life.
On the fifth which is today I found out it is more than just a broken distributor on my car there is also a major oil leak, and some sparks need to be replace.

$700 dollars without fixing the oil leak and my dad hasnt offered to help. How about that new years how about that!!

But Michael let me use his car to get to and from work the past couple of days and we have been doing really well as just friends in fact we are doing much better at being good friends then we ever were at being together. I am so glad that he is back in my life because he does know me better than anyone else does. I know we made the right choice to be friends and thats it.

oh well things cant get too much worse soo all that can happen is things getting better right?
yeah okay.

I remember......

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 03:51:25 GMT

I remember you and Kaitlyn coming down to stay with Trevor and me over winter breaks.
I remember coming up to Tennessee to stay with you guys at your moms, and I remember the time you stuck a HUGE wad of gum in my hair and your mom had to cut it out!
I remember at Kevins wedding reception dancing away with you. We were such a hit. You would throw me underneath your legs and swing me back up and you let me stand on your feet because you tower over me soo much.
I remember jumping on the trampoline at Aunt Dianes house. You and Trevor would double bounce me and I would just fly.
I remember driving down to Augusta to visit you in the hospital after your accident. It was so scary to see you in a comma. I remember holding your hand and being so scared you weren't going to make it. But you did. You were always such a fighter.
I remember how touchy you got after your accident, you always played with me hair.
I remember when you asked if you could come live with me because you wanted out of Tennessee sooo badly. I said yes, but you were on probation so you never came.
I remember the last time I saw you..... You found so much joy helping Kameron walk his first little steps.
I remember you left early that day, it was mothers day.
I remember walking out of my last final on May 25th, it was a Chemistry final.
I remember calling my mom back because I had a voicemail and she was sobbing.
I remember her telling me you had passed.
I remember falling in the parking lot.
I remember everything going black and I just screamed.
I remember seeing your dad cry at your funeral.
I remember how empty Kaitlyn looked without you.
I remember having to say goodbye.
I remember seeing the family for the first time after the funeral, and how hard it was.
I always remember because I think about you everyday.

I miss you Drew.
I miss you so much.

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 16:20:13 GMT

I can't tell which hurts more seeing him and trying to get over him, or not speaking to him and being on poor terms.

I think they both sting just a bit too much for my liking.

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:46:57 GMT

what he meant by soul mate was soul mate at that time.........

break ups are always difficult, even more so when you keep bumping into them.......

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 03:51:39 GMT

The other day Michael said I was his soulmate.
To hear that from him means so much to me.
So much that uhh I had to well write about it on livejournal. hah
I love him.

DEATH

Sat, 26 May 2007 04:00:25 GMT

It seems as though death is at every corner.
When you least expect it, it strikes again.
The thing is I am not afraid of my own personal death.
But the most gut wrenching horrific feeling is finding out someone has died.
Your stomache just twists in to knots and you just cry and cry it doesnt matter where you are when you find out you just break down. Then you start questioning why? why now? why them? All of this still with the gut wrenching cries. Then you stop believing its true. It cant be true. There is no possible way you are never going to see this person again.
And then there is the numbness.
And then the pain all over again.

I can't go a year without someone dying it seems.

Drew Ezell: 5/24/84-5/24/07
He is my cousin. And he died last night on his birthday, he choked on his own vomit.
I found out today as I was walking out of finals.
I can't believe he's gone.
I really don't want to believe he's gone.
He went through so much and he was still such a funny funloving guy.
God rest his soul.

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 02:46:06 GMT

I had a dream where everyone was alive and everyone was together and everyone was happy and fulfilled.

Then I woke up, and now I feel sick to my stomache.

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 03:50:04 GMT

This is me second worse week ever.
This comes second to the week that Brandon died and I found out well lets just say some drama with michael.

I am becoming the most boring,quiet,passive-agressive,tired,rutine,lame person I know.

It's weird, I feel lonely and alienated even when I'm with people. Even when I'm with my two bestfriends.

have I run out of the energy to be that outspoke fun loving perky sweet girl?

Is that it?

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 05:29:42 GMT

I've become overly paranoid and extremly insecure about a lot of my relationships with people. I dont know what had brought this one really.

I work so much and so hard my body is always exhausted and my mind is always racing.
I can never get to sleep at night and when ever I lay down to sleep I get horrible stomache aches.

I'm at the breaking point and I can't do anything about it. I work full time because I have to not because I want to. I never skip school because I would fall even more behind.

I'm stuck in this rut and I feel as if I could fall apart at one wrong turn.

ugh.

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:07:07 GMT

This is a desperate plea to get me out of fucking Georgia

PLEASEEEE

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:05:45 GMT

I wish I could reverse the growing up cycle.
I wish I could stop working over 30 hours a week.
I wish I could stop staying up late doing homework.
I wish I could stop paying bills.
I wish I could grown down.
I grew up too fast and I missed out on all the fun of being a kid.
And I want nothing more than to be carefree.

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 03:51:25 GMT

At noon the wind comes through
Across the bay on a clear day
And I can watch the boats come in and set their anchors
And my folks are away at the store
So I don't have to listen to anyone say anything.
And I swim out as far as I can
And float on my back
Just waiting for nothing.
I hope they never come back to this house.
It's a lot more fun alone.
I can do anything I want
And so I'm swimming
More like floating
And I'll just stay out here
Until the night comes crashing down
And I swim out as far as I can
And float on my back
Just waiting for nothing.
They always come home
At the wrong time
Like when I'm all right
And don't need no one at all.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 00:59:30 GMT

Somehow I managed to work 45 hours this week, pass all of my finals,not to mention all of my classes, and I made it out alive.

woah

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:50:12 GMT

There is nothing better than being sick, going to school 8 hours a day and working 30+ hours.

hatin' it.

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 04:39:14 GMT

I have so much to say and I can't say any of it to anyone it applies to.
I'm choosing again to bite my tongue, hold in my feelings again to avoid any conflict.

That is a horrible way to live.

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 06:20:57 GMT

I miss my innocence.
I miss being oblivious to certain things.
I miss being completely fine with being single.

Nothing is new anymore even though everything and everyone has changed so much.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 16:59:25 GMT

His mixed signals are starting to get to me.

In other news Amy and Kelly made up....we're back!

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 15:20:07 GMT

Because I'm a bad ass I jumped on Amy's car.
Because I'm a dumb ass I fell off.
I had to go to the hospital because I blacked out and when i awoke I threw up numerous times.
I had a concussion and two blood pockets in my brain.
I got a pain killer shot, a tetnus shot, and I had to sleep all night with an IV in.

wanna see some battle wounds?
I got yer battle wounds.
gash on muh hip
black eye/ busted face
sweet bruise/bump on my head

+++ numerous other scrapes brusises gashes on my hands, nose,sholders,kneee,hip

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:29:45 GMT

dont you hate when someone gives you amazing advice and you dont find out that its true until he's dead and there is no way of thanking him ever?

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 03:00:41 GMT

LOLZ@ shit already going wrong.

So much has made me angry, not sad but just angry in the past 24 hours I just want to beat the shit out of someone or even have the shit beat out of me anything to fuckin get this shit out

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 02:32:49 GMT

my hopes are so high about everything I really hope I don't get hurt.

My hopes are high about getting into KSU next year.
My hopes are high that my dad really has quit drinking and that might lead into us having some sort of realationship.
My hopes are high about this boy.

oh I hope nothing goes wrong.
Everything is so good right now.

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 16:48:10 GMT

I'm better without you

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 03:19:40 GMT

I really really need a new job. Anyone know of anyone hiring around here?